Silvia E’Salvia, Hello Magazine’s woman ‘on the inside’ of the sacred ring that is Italian Politics has excitedly revealed that Silvio Berlusconi, ex-prime minister of the Republic of Italy, has been notified by the office in waiting for the White House and President Elect, Donald Trump, that he is to be invited to Capitol Hill to begin formal negotiations for the acceptance of the post of Italian Ambassador to the United States of America.

It seems that President Elect Donald Trump has exercised an obscure amendment which allows him to circumnavigate International Law, Diplomatic etiquette and most importantly the Italian Parliament and President to invite Mr Berlusconi directly to the Post – a right recently also xercised in his wish to draw the sage and deep counsel of one Nigella Farage, from the  United Kingdom, to the White House front lawn .

We are told that the news was communicated to a stunned and rather emotional Berlusconi whilst he was undergoing an intense form of Moldovan Rhythm Therapy  for a ‘thrown hip‘ condition.

Berlusconi, renowned for his relentless support for Improving Lives For Refugee Minors  immediately rose to the occasion and the opportunity.

The world famous philanthropist, champion of Women’s Rights and a fair economy for all: the Lupo Di Popolo, white knight for the working people’s right to justice, spiritual shamen of Bunga Bunga, and a fierce advocate for the removal of graft and corruption in all corners of Italian daily life sees the similarities between his own beliefs and morals and those of Mr Trump as a great advantage in creating a superior relationship between Italy & The USA

“It is a great honour to serve my country in ‘cementing’ the relationship between Italy and The United States Of America – and in reaching out directly into the inner court of a man who positively ‘glows’ wth integrity”.

“Donald speaks for the people, sometimes even when they don’t want him to. He says things they feel ashamed to say. Or even think. BUT. Nonetheless. The burden of Power is great yet he wears it like a Valentino neck scarf. I salute the shining azure blue of his politic. He is a giant – a man of small feet yet great intellect.”

Once he had replaced the towel and dismissed the therapist, Ex Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi went on to tell the insider:

“I am also here to support and defend Mr Trump’s decision to run his business empire from the inside of the White House, using only his closest advisors and family to ensure 100% commitment to the cause. We in Italy know the power of ‘family’ and how one must always keep ‘the family’ close to you when taking and distributing power.”  

In her last SMS to us before Silvia Di Salvia was whisked away by a highly attentive Mr Berlusconi to a small palazzo outside Rome for a intense man a mano, to wrestle with the thorny political issues of 18th Venetian Lingerie and Tiramisu, she imparted the closing words of the soon to be Ambassador Silvio Berlusconi:

“One must remember, Opportunity is like a mistress – best treated nicely, well housed, holidayed often and regularly attended to.”

The profundity is overwhelming. As is the cologne.The future looks bright for us all.